What do we do when we fall?
It has been a while, and at this point, a lot of you don’t know who I am. I go by BD. I made this subreddit years ago. I used to make monthly logs of my progress with PE and bodybuilding.
In 2025, I had a pretty big shock to my life, which kept me away from the community and my YouTube. As mundane as it sounds, I lost one of my dogs to Lymphoma that year; after trying treatment for 12 weeks, the strain mutated and ran out of options. She was only three. I had other pets die. It’s part of life; it was just that she was the first being that showed me that I was worthy of unconditional love. Naturally, I did not take the loss of her well. In September of that year, just when I was about to get back into the swing of things. My life took a turn for the worse. I cannot speak of the details. Whatever happened left me searching for answers.
By January 2026, the subsequent fallout came to a head, or at least so I thought. For another six months, the fallout dragged through June of 2026. In that time, I lost my original Reddit for reporting abuse, lost a vendor abruptly, and lost another dog to a sudden angioma in August (blood cancer).
2025 was the hardest year of my life, until 2026 had something to say about it. I was diagnosed with mild to moderate depression at the tail end of 2025, and more than likely have moderate to severe depression at this point. I am seeking help again once I change insurance next month.
I am not trying to write a sob story; I am trying to give context, because I know a lot of other guys have suffered loss and betrayal from the people they loved. And I think acting like I am stronger than that pain and ignoring it only makes the problem worse.
And before anyone asks: My wife and I are great; she is my rock.
But I also know I made a bad habit of “waiting.” I have spent a lot of 2026 looking for the right time to start again: fitness, public works, and PE.
I have not fully collapsed; I just have been doing the bare minimum not to lose everything. I still have my strength; I still have my endowment. I just stopped trying to progress further.
I just turned thirty; I feel like I spent enough time biding my time. I spent my twenties building myself up. For the next year, I plan to reclaim that and exceed that baseline.
Physical stats
6’3 | 190.5cm
255lb |115kg
Body fat TBD: higher than I want it to be / lower than it looks
Posture: Mild thoracic collapse; moderate anterior pelvic tilt
Wrist 8 in, Ankle 10.
I have a very large frame. Including that, so you infer my perception and body needs (IE my calories will be a lot higher than your needs). This also makes me look smaller downstairs than I really am, especially when body fat is higher than it should be.
Endowment
| Measurement | Inches | Centimeters |
|---|---|---|
| BPEL | 9.3 to 9.6 | 23.6 to 24.3 |
| Upper-Shaft Girth | 6 to 6.25 | 15.2 to 15.8 |
| Mid-Shaft Girth | 6.5 to 6.75 | 16.5 to 17.1 |
| Base Girth | Needs to be re-measured |
I gave a range due to EQ fluctuations. I will report both min and max like this moving forward.
Yes, I know this is quite large; I have been doing PE for quite a long time. I do it for myself at this point. Pictures from June
Fat pad TBD. It is a lot smaller than the June pictures. Currently, my huge quads limit sex more than the fat pad. Testes (Measured with Caliper) 67 × 48 × 50 mm
This is ridiculously large. It runs in the family. They are probably beyond a jumbo-sized egg. I started taking fertility medication to coincide with TRT, and apparently this was normal size. Mainly bringing this up because they definitely make the dick look normal; I am assuming some measurement error, but even at 80 percent of the measured volume, they are some large huevos.
GOALS
- Return to meal prepping
- Rebuild high-intensity workout adherence
- Actually start PE again
- We are going for 10.0 on the ruler
- I am not sure what body fat actually is, but we are going for a flat stomach or strong abs, which is more aligned with my bone shape.
- four-plate bench, five-plate squat, six-plate deadlift -Continue posture improvements
No weight or body fat goals are listed; neither are really good markers to track, especially at my frame size. I don’t know what the ceiling is for muscle mass, which also changes the relationship with fat mass, as there is more surface area to blend into. I just know I am supposed to be a large individual; classically ripped is TBD.
Exercise Regimen
My training program combines heavy strength training, high-volume muscle building, and cardiovascular conditioning into a five-day weekly routine.
The goal is simple: build more muscle, get stronger, improve conditioning, and maintain mobility without spending unnecessary hours in the gym.
Weekly Training Split
Monday: Chest, Back, and Biceps
Tuesday: Legs (Squat and Quad Focus)
Wednesday: Back and Triceps
Thursday: Active Recovery and Cardio
Friday: Shoulders, Chest, and Biceps
Saturday: Legs (Deadlift and Posterior Chain Focus)
Sunday: Rest and Recovery
Each lifting session typically consists of 25–35 total sets, spread across multiple muscle groups.
I use a progressive pyramid approach, starting with lighter weights to warm up the muscles and joints before gradually increasing the load. The final working sets are the most demanding, often approaching muscular failure.
Most exercises follow a few basic principles:
Progressive overload: Gradually increase weight or repetitions as strength improves. High training volume: Accumulate substantial work across several muscle groups. Short rest periods: Generally 30–60 seconds between sets to keep workouts efficient. High effort: Push harder on the final working sets, typically reaching RPE 8–10. Consistent arm training: Alternate direct biceps and triceps work on upper-body training days. The emphasis is on getting as much productive training as possible without unnecessarily extending the workout.
I also incorporate: HIIT: 2 sessions per week and Steady-state cardio: 3–5 sessions per week.
Mobility work: 6 days per week. Daily movement: 12,000 steps, including cardio
Some of you might consider this high volume, and I respond very well to it normally
Meal plan
7-Day Meal Prep: Macros
Daily calorie target: 4,200 kcal
Daily macro targets: 300 g protein / 550 g carbohydrates / 89 g fat
Plan: Four repeatable meals daily, plus a flexible family dinner.
Daily Macro Table
| Meal | Description | Calories | Protein | Carbs | Fat |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Loco Moco: Eggs, Beef, Gravy, Rice | 886 kcal | 56 g | 102 g | 25 g |
| 2 | Shrimp & Rice Bowl | 668 kcal | 55 g | 103 g | 3 g |
| 3 | Whey & Bananas | 570 kcal | 75 g | 63 g | 5 g |
| 4 | Chicken, Potatoes & Cheddar Broccoli | 710 kcal | 70 g | 70 g | 16 g |
| Prepared meals subtotal | 2,834 kcal | 256 g | 338 g | 49 g | |
| Remaining for family dinner | Flexible allowance | 1,366 kcal | 44 g | 212 g | 40 g |
| Daily target | 4,200 kcal | 300 g | 550 g | 89 g |
PE
This is where it’s going to get fucky. I spent more than 18 months off from PE with an actual increase in size due to EQ (Posture and proper diet type for me) I do not know how fast I will gain, but I am starting with a comparatively low workload.
I plan on doing this 5 days a week to start. I will add recovery pumping/ feeders in the next few weeks but I need to determine workload first. I am starting at 6 – 7 lb of tension, and I have no intention of increasing it aggressively.
| Exercise | Sets | Reps or Time |
|---|---|---|
| Pelvic Floor Massage | 1 | 180 seconds |
| High Tension Extending | 10 | 60 seconds |
| High Tension Extending | 5 | 300 seconds |
| Interval Pumping | 5 | 120 seconds |
| Equipment | Link |
|---|---|
| Apex extender | Link to PMP |
| Peak Compression Hanger | Link to PMP |
| Wato Pump | Link to PMP |
| Auto Pump | Link to PMP |
| 9 by 2.5 Cylinder | Link to PMP |
Supplementation
| Supplement | Dosage | Product Link |
|---|---|---|
| Optimum Nutrition Gold Standard Whey | 3 scoops | Product Link |
| Nutricost Creatine Monohydrate | 7.5 g | Product Link |
| Gorilla Mode GlycerPump | 5–10 g | Product Link |
| Scepter Wellness Vigor 2.0 | 1 scoop | Product Link |
| Scepter Wellness Safeguard | 1 serving (3 capsules) | Product Link |
| Unnamed Prototype Caffeinated Pre-Workout | 1 scoop | N/A |
This is not a supplement but weekly TRT at 175 to 200 mg and 500 IU of HCG.
Conclusion
I know this was a lot. Public logging just makes me a lot more accountable. I will have starting pictures next week once I shake off a 16-hour flight and get a week of the meal plan in me for a fair assessment of both EQ and physique.
Full disclosure: I own PMP and Scepter Wellness. These are the products I personally use, and I’m including them for transparency about my routine.
